Sink
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As a young man fresh out of high school I began into pastoral leadership at my local church early in life. This was a time of tremendous opportunity and internal promise and joy. It seemed as if all my dreams were coming to fruition in life. The local church I was apart of seemed to have a lot of promise, and had high ambitions of being a worldwide influence in the church. When I first began attending the church I was inspired by the new way I had been hearing the gospel being preached, and was consumed by the beautiful package it was being delivered in. My only church context before this moment was catholicism therefore hearing charismatic church leaders talk about Jesus was something new for me,
If you have followed my story for any length of time, you will know that I wrestled with my gender from a young age. Growing up in middle school and high school I did my very best to ignore my gender struggle through sports, and then found my way into church worship teams as another distraction from my impending issue of gender identity crisis. However, after high-school my distraction being church posed a real problem for me in trying to hide from my internal struggle.
Long before I started attending mega churches as a teenager, my mother had asked me if I was “gay”. In those years there was no context for trans people so I continued to be confused about what I was feeling and experiencing on the inside. This led to even more confusion when I was being confronted by charismatic Christian leaders who had all but convinced me that I was a problem. The culture of evangelical christianity, and sadly still is today that anyone who is queer is a threat to christianity, and must be stamped out. Under the trance of great public speakers and convincing poor theology I adopted beliefs that I roll my eyes at today.
When looking at the words of Jesus and the ministry of Jesus himself, you see crowds of religious people overwhelmingly rejecting what he said. Scripture even says that he was an impressive person. However, the words in ministry of Jesus have changed so many hearts.
In my spiritual journey, I have listened to a lot of great pastors and preachers over the years, but nothing has ever compared to the direct words of Jesus himself. When I began writing the song “SINK” on my new album “SHELL OF ME” (Releasing on New Years Day 2023), I was challenged with the thought of believing the words of men over Jesus himself. My hope and prayer is that more people realize the love of Jesus is far better than the smooth talk of preachers.
If you are in a season of deconstruction, or trying to figure out what your faith really is about. I implore you to turn off the sermons, unsubscribe from the Podcasts, and just start reading the words for Jesus yourself.
GO LISTEN TO THE ALBUM WHERE YOU GET MUSIC