SLOW TO SPEAK
CONSIDER SUPPORTING THE WORK OF LGBTQIA+ FAITH ACCESS. ALL OF MY WORK IS AVAILABLE FOR FREE, BUT YOUR GENEROSITY MAKES IT POSSIBLE TO CONTINUE. THANKS!When the Covid-19 pandemic began I was working at a large Megachurch here in southeast Michigan. There were many Christians that I worked with day in and day out who were very skeptical of the covid pandemic. There were a lot of opinions and assumptions about people who took covid seriously. Oftentimes I would hear people say things like “we need to have faith over fear”, and then it would turn into complete conspiracy theories. This began spiraling into the Christian nationalist movement that I was seeing within my own local church. Now I know there was a lot of pride in our country prior to this moment, however covid exacerbated christian nationalism into the church. Then came the murder of George Floyd. All of a sudden Christians were all about the police. Suddenly anybody who criticized the government or law enforcement was immediately demonized and ridiculed. The interesting thing is most of this took place online and behind each other's backs.
Sadly many of us are blind to our bigotry and our biases until shit hits the fan. It isn't until we're put in a situation where we have to choose love; that we find out who and what we are uncomfortable with. In my own Journey I have had a hard time with white men who are baptists. Now this is an unfounded bias that I completely own. Why do I feel this way? Well in my mind I have projected hatred coming from Baptist men towards me; a trans woman. I've had to work on this bias. On the complete opposite end from christians to trans people; I see it everyday. I see the hatred that Christians have for Trans people. The funny thing is, baptist men aren't the people who come after me for being trans and christian. Most of the hatred I receive comes from white evangelical women. However, in my mind I have built a bias against a white baptist man. So what are we to do? How do we fight these biases within us? Whether we are a white Evangelical women who do not like trans people. Whether you are a trans person who fears white evangelicals. I want to propose some thoughts on how we can change this narrative in our culture.
How we can move forward and reflect the love from the faith in which we profess? How can someone who gave up on christianity see the love they thought it would be? Many people have given up on Christianity because it's not able to show the love in which it claims to possess. Now this is not a formula. I understand every person is different and their walk may look different than mine. but these three things have helped me to become a better version of myself in the last year. Since I came out I have been on an evolution of how I see those who dont like me.
The words are: GROW. SLOW. and GO.
GROW
We need to do the work of working on ourselves. Many times in Christian circles we feel like we have it figured out. Arrogantly we feel the bible told us how how the world operates and how we should operate within it. But is it a dangerous place to be if we think we have reached the pinnacle of understanding. If we stop growing ourselves, and learning, and changing the behaviors within us, we become stagnant and we can quickly become cold and unloving. We need to take a moment ourselves and grow. We need to learn how to find the bigotry within us. Finding the biases that bind us up and make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to christ.
We need to be willing to take the thoughts that are against someone else, and make that thought obedient to Christ. The moment we find ourselves thinking that someone is the enemy and someone is evil; we should pause. At this moment we find ourselves hating a creation of God.
SLOW
We need to be slow to speak. We need to be aware of the moments that we find ourselves reverting to a bias. We need to hear the words that come into our mind before they come out of our mouth. If we're slow to speak when we're faced with a situation or a person that we don't agree with, we must think first. We will find ourselves in a much more loving position of understanding. One thing I love that Paul says in Scripture is; there are times in which he becomes all things to all men so that he may save some. (1 Corinthians 9) If we can take on this type of approach, we can put ourselves in a much more loving position when faced with things we don't agree with. One of the best things I've had to learn recently is to hold space for someone and their beliefs. Now listen… I may not agree with what they say or believe. However, I can try to understand and listen to them. I can support their belief without being subject to it myself. We are able to come in and out of someone else's belief system. We do not have to compromise what we believe to make someone else feel valued spiritually and personally.
GO
Go love someone. Seriously go find that person you might have been afraid of. I started practicing this in my training as a hospital chaplain. In the middle of my training I started to notice that I was avoiding patients on my list who were white, male, baptists. I started to do something new. Whenever I show up at the hospital and I see baptist men on my patient list; I make them my first visit. What if we found ourselves in a position where we began to love and have discussions with those who scare us the most. What if the white evangelical women who who hate me would just send a message to buy me dinner. What if I were to reach out to the pastors that hurt me in the past and just sat with them? What if we talked and tried to understand one another? Warning on this!! DO NOT DO IT IF THEY CAUSE YOU MENTAL OR PHYSICAL HARM. You are allowed to cut people out of your life.
It may be time to make a list of people that make us the most angry in our world. We need to pray and ask God to show us the common threads among these people. Pray God shows you how to grow in understanding of what brings you fear. Take those thoughts captive and make them obedient to God. I pray that we find a way to love one another again. I pray we live up to the loving God we profess.
I’M HERE TO SUPPORT YOU
